Friday morning was going pretty well, all things considered. I was at my desk, editing some photos and having breakfast. Then Ars editor Lee Hutchinson pinged me on Slack and ruined it all. "It’s even worse than we could have possibly imagined," said my boss. "And, as Han Solo said, I can imagine a lot." Accompanying this message was news about George Lucas' plans for Star Wars episodes 7-9, and my god would they have sucked. Forget the First Order or Porgs, forget BB-8 and Poe Dameron. Imagine, if you can, our heroes shrinking down like the Fantastic Voyage to go meet some midi-chlorians. There, now your breakfast is ruined, too.
The info comes from an interview between Lucas and another billionaire filmmaker, James Cameron. The latter made a series about science fiction, and the transcript of their interview was recently published in the series' companion book. The bombshell drops after a brief insight into Lucas' view of the environmental damage we're causing the Earth. "We're not going to save the planet," Lucas regularly tells people and follows up by saying we'll end up like Mars. But Mars is fine, he thinks, and he's sure we'll find life there. And in the rest of the Solar System, too.
This thought of microscopic alien life spurs a memory. "Everybody hated it in Phantom Menace [when] we started talking about midi-chlorians," Lucas says. Uh-huh, we sure did. Because it was a really dumb idea. What follows should make every Star Wars fan send a note of gratitude to whoever at Disney decided to buy the franchise and take it away and out from under Lucas' control:
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